What he said:

“I loved your profile and am looking for new friends. I am really looking for more of a friend with benefits, not looking to sleep with every girl that that moves. I want to be friends and do things that friends would normally do together, but with the benefit of getting to be intimate with each other. I know that we can have a great time together so take a look at my profile and let me know if you are the girl I am trying to find.”

What he should have said:

“Look bitch I got this fly fish tank so hit me up if you’re free to fuck.”

“i bet you have pretty feet”

I bet you have an absent father.

“Hey, how are you? I landed up on your profile thinking it’s some Indian woman’s profile, do you know they are beautiful! I am an educated model from Mumbai, India. Do you want to have a lunch?”

Being in the Walgreen’s ad for Ginkgo Biloba does not make you a model nor does it  educate you.

“I’m wondering if you’ve ever slept with another gal’s man before?”

Does this turn some women on!? I’m not into stealing anyone’s man away especially if he curls his bangs and looks like my father.

“Hey there, was in class browsing the profiles when yours definitely caught my attention!! Probably cause Im new to the area and thought you’d be the best looking one I’ve seen here so far. my name is W*** btw”

I’m only good looking when you’re new to the area.

Let’s please try and guess where this picture was taken.

Guess #1- Porn Shoot

“Okgirl„ you want to meet at the library?? What you think? -K”

Wow, sir, please do not pretend that you have ever step foot into a library- public, private, home, school, monastery, etc. Also, first date? Library? There’s no…talking…at…the library. Keep drinkin’, fool.

“Hey there! This fishy got caught in your line…you wanna reel him in?”

Making out with yourself in the mirror keeps the mirror clean, turns this fisherman on, and probably burns calories. Don’t hate.